Interview with Sparky from the Anya Kalinczyk series

Today I have a very special guest: Sparky, the salamander familiar of Anya Kalinczyk.
(Both Sparky and Anya appear in Laura Bickle’s Anya Kalinczyk series.)
I’m a big fan of Sparky ever since reading Embers and my admiration for this brave familiar only grew after reading Sparks, so I’m very happy Sparky has been so kind to grant me an interview.

"Hello Sparky, welcome to Pearls Cast Before a McPig."

"Thank you so much for having me! I'm very excited to be interviewed. In Anya's world, I don't get to speak. It's delightful to be able to communicate with another familiar!" *Sparky wriggles his speckled tail in excitement.*

"So, the most important question first:
How did you get Anya to buy you a Gloworm? I’d love to have one, so any tips on how to convince my owner are welcome."

"Ah, well, as a fire salamander, I love to play with electronic devices. In Anya's world, I can only affect ghosts and electronic fields. Most of the electronic devices and appliances I chew on, such as cell phones and televisions tend to short out or explode. Anya figured out that the Gloworm was the safest toy for me. It lights up when I touch it." *Sparky looks side to side with his marble-like eyes and blushes.* "It's sort of a security blanket for me. I cuddle with it when I go to sleep."
"I must confess I have my own security blanket as well. Mine is an actual blanket and it is green." * coughs * "Good, on with the questions.
What is your favourite electrical appliance?"

"The microwave!" *Sparky slaps his tail on the ground and his eyes shine in delight.* "They make most impressive explosions when I punch the buttons. Beep...beep...beep...boom!"

"Hmmmm…. I should get myself a microwave if they do that.
I’ve heard you are quite a bit older than Anya. Is this true and if I may be so bold: what is your age?"

"Ah-ha. Yes, I've been around for quite some time. Anya doesn't know it, but I'm many centuries old. I was a pet of Paracelsus and listened to Scheherazade tell the tales of the Arabian Nights. Though...it was a good thing that Scheherazade was such an accomplished storyteller. She was kind of a dog in person."

"Wow. That is impressive!
Can you share a bit more with us what you’ve been up to before teaming up with Anya?"

"Um, yeah." *Sparky scratches the back of his head with a hind foot and looks away.* "There was this little incident on the Hindenberg. You could kind of say that I got put on elemental probation after that."

"So you’re famous actually! I’m glad your probation didn’t stop you from becoming Anya’s familiar."

"I loved reading about your nest of eggs in Sparks. Is this the first time you’ve become a father?"

*Cue Al Green's "Let's Get It On" in the background.*

"Actually, this is my second litter. I admit, laying eggs in Anya's bathtub was suboptimal, but it sure beat the time that I laid eggs in Joan of Arc's armor. Joan wasn't too happy with that, either. She picked up her helmet, saw the eggs, and swore a blue streak."

"And she always is depicted as such a nice pious girl. Thanks for telling us the truth about her.
Do you know any other elementals? And can you tell us a bit about them?"

"Elementals are everywhere. My favorites are the earth elementals. Like pigs." *Sparky winks at Sullivan.*

* blushes * "Well, I will keep my eyes open for them. Wouldn’t mind talking to some elemental relatives.
When you’re in Anya’s necklace is it cramped in there or are you in some kind of different dimension once you get into the necklace?"

"Did you ever see that television show, I Dream of Jeannie? It's kind of like the interior of Jeannie's bottle. Very plush. But not as pink. I do have a nice sparkly disco ball, mini-bar, and an ass-kicking stereo system in there."

"Speaking about dimensions: Are you able to travel between the dimensions and if you are: have you ever visited a dimension with zombies?"

"I usually have my hands full with this dimension, but I do travel to the astral plane every once in awhile. Gets a little trippy, even for me. I haven't yet met any zombies, but I'm certain they're out there!"

"And lastly:
What is your favourite memory of you and Anya?"

"Anya doesn't remember this, but when she was a baby, I would climb up into her crib to sleep with her. She'd be lying on her back, dozing. I'd lie on my back beside her in the sunshine, swatting at the mobile spinning lazily over the crib. She's always had me, and always will."

"She’s a lucky person, I must say.
Sparky, thanks for your visit and your answers. I will now let you get back to Anya and your mini-bar. I hope we’ll get to read much more about you and Anya in the future."

Those of you who haven't read Embers and Sparks yet: Go to your bookstore now and buy both books, they're awesome!